Haunted
by mademoiselle-eponinethenardier
Summary: "I miss you every single damn day, and I want you back. We should be living our dream, not only meeting in our dreams." Being a drama student, Quinn excels at pretending, performing…presenting. The only place she can truly live her perfect life, is in her dreams. But how long will these dreams last, and will she ever have Rachel and her heart in reality again?
1. The one that got away

_**Chapter one;  
**_'_Comparisons are easily done, once you've had a taste of perfection.'_

Throwing her keys into the small dish in the hallway, Quinn took a seat on the leather couch in the overly decorated living room, looking around in silence. Despite being home, she still felt out of place here…this was everything she had hoped for and more, but she couldn't help but give in to that thought in her mind screaming that it wasn't _who_ she had wanted it _with_. She glanced at the large plasma television, to the mantel piece over a grand fireplace that had never even been used, then to the pictures of herself and her family…and lastly to the pictures of her and him, all smiling and carefree. The latter were always fake smiles, and forced laughter, but being a drama student, she excelled in pretending, performing…presenting.

Her fiancé isn't even horrible, he's complimentary, kind, good-looking, has an incredible personality, and gets along with her family. He was indeed the perfect gentleman. But there was never a spark or fireworks when they kissed. He was everything her parents wanted her to marry, to them and everyone around them, he was considered perfect. But she couldn't help but draw comparisons…the way his hair was too short, too blonde. His eyes were a beautiful blue, but not the deep brown that she had seen her future in. He was too tall, the way he towered over her, instead of being a comfortable little difference, that she could wrap her arm around a slender waist and lean her head against a full head of long, luscious brown locks. His laugh was too deep, and not light and airy.

Most of all…he was not her. Not the little brunette that plagued her mind ever since her first day of elementary school, when she had bumped into her, sending her flying and seeing stars…literally. The short girls dress was covered in gold stars, matching her dazzling smile as she apologised and leant forward to lend a helping hand. She spoke at an incredible pace, although Quinn heard hardly any of it. Her mind was too lost in her thoughts of the girl stood above her…and since then, not a thing has changed, and she has never returned from that star shaped bubble.

She wrapped her fingers around the small Gardenia charm on her necklace, a faint smile dancing across her lips as she bowed her head lost in thought. She knew it was her all along; there was no way that Finn had thought of matching the green ribbon and gardenia to her eyes. Not to mention she had seen a small trail of green ribbon fall from Rachel's locker before she quickly picked it up and hid it again. The girl was never discreet.

The blonde was broken from her thoughts as the door slammed shut and a voice rang through the house, shouting her name.

"In the living area," she replied, her voice soft and gentle. Her husband entered the room, smiling warmly as he joined her on the couch, wrapping an arm around her dainty waist and kissing her cheek lovingly. His cologne invading her senses rudely.  
"You're quiet, what's bothering you?" He said after a few moments, his tone concerned. He was very perceptive of people's emotions, often picking up on how they were feeling.

"Just thinking about old times…" She said in return, shaking her head to lift her from her daze as she smiled up at him. "Have a good day at work?" She asked, changing the subject, revelling in her thoughts once again as he spoke animatedly about his day. She knew this was wrong; it wasn't fair on him to keep him dangling when her heart isn't his at all. She felt trapped and lost like she was struggling for freedom, but she was so afraid that she would fall within seconds of gaining it.__

* * *

_Opening her eyes, Quinn twirled, her surroundings familiar but…different._

_Her eyebrows furrowing together she finally recognised it as the park that she and Rachel had their first date at… although everything was enhanced, bright, new and hypnotising. The tree leafs were a vivid, beautiful bright green, as well as the grass, looking the healthiest she had ever seen grass look. The water upon the lake  
Where was she? Turning each way she peered around, looking for someone- anyone, but the area was deserted. There were no sounds of the big city they lived in, no cars, no busy traffic, and no commuters rushing about their way, nothing. The park was deserted, desolate.  
_

"_Hello?" she called out, frowning as she tried to find any sign of life around her, and just as she was about to give up she saw a figure stand up from their seating on a bench nearby… wait. That bench wasn't there a second ago, and she would've noticed the female sat there. If she wasn't sure before, she was sure of it now that she was dreaming.  
"Who's there?" She asked curiously, tilting her head and squinting against the bright sun that shone down upon them both.  
"You don't remember me?" the familiar voice replied, a teasing tone to her voice as she moved closer. Quinn squinted, the sun was still obscuring her view of the figure, which she now realised to be female.  
"If you come closer, maybe I will." Quinn replied, feeling oddly at ease with the stranger, although she wasn't sure why, she still had no clue who it was._

_The figure laughed a light, airy laugh that invaded Quinn's senses and made her feel strangely like she was floating. "Confident Quinn, just as I remember you." The voice replied, her voice had a sad tone to it now and for some curious reason, Quinn had the overwhelming urge to rush forward and comfort the girl, but she remained silent, observing as the girl slowly came into the view._

The breath was knocked out of the blonde as she took in the features of the girl, the long flowing brown locks, tanned olive skin that seemed to be glowing. Quinn was sure the girl had swallowed the sun's rays and was now projecting them from within her incredible smile, for how else could her smile be as stunningly blinding?

"Rachel…"  
Quinn breathed out; her eyes still looking like a deer caught in headlights, as Rachel laughed again and Quinn swore it was the best sound in the world.  
"Am I dreaming?" The blonde questioned, her eyebrows furrowing as now it was her turn for her tone to be saddened.  
"Regrettably, yes." Rachel replied, close enough now to reach out and take her hand. "How did we become this Q?" She queried her eyes downcast as a troubled look was worn on her face.  
"How did we become so far apart when we had everything planned? We had so many amazing things we were going to do together, and now it all is but a dream." She spoke with such regret and sadness it made Quinn's heart ache terribly. She too had questioned that, all these years. Of course she knew the answer, she had let Rachel go, knowing that she was destined to reach for the stars she rightfully belonged among, and she thought it was the right decision…she had regretted it every single second since Rachel got on that train bound for New York and Nyada, and her for Yale.

"I miss you." Quinn said simply, swallowing a lump in her throat that pained her, as she admired Rachel's beauty through teary eyes. "I miss you every single damn day, and I want you back. You shouldn't be just here in a dream…you should be in my dreams, and then I can wake to your perfect face, so I can make you breakfast and hold your hand on the way to work, and kiss your nose so that you scrunch it up, because that's my favourite." She said softly, tapping Rachel's nose and laughing lightly as Rachel crinkled her nose a little.  
"We should be planning _**our**__ wedding, not me planning my own unwanted one." She said, a tear falling down her cheek as she swallowed hard.  
"We should be living __**our**__ dream, not meeting in my dream."_

_Rachel had tears of her own now cascading down her cheeks as she stared back at Quinn with equal adoration and longing.  
"I miss you every second of every single day, I always talked about singing being my biggest passion…my dream, but I was lying Q. It's you. It always has been."  
Quinn choked back a sob, looking down as she wiped her tears away and tried to will herself to get it together._

"Hey, I see you're still wearing that necklace I gave you…what grade was it again?" Rachel trailed off, "Grade 2." Quinn replied, answering for her with a fond smile as she reached a hand up to hold the necklace lovingly. "I've worn it every single day since." She finished, looking up, her eyes searching Rachel's.

"_I don't want to wake up."  
Quinn admitted after a comfortable silence of which the girls held hands and admired each other.  
"Me neither." Rachel replied, fresh tears soon making their way down her face as they both realised the inevitable was coming- dawn._

"_Will we find each other again?" They both asked at the same time, before laughing at their synchronisation.  
"I hope so Quinn, I really do." Rachel spoke up, admitting her fears.  
"Until then, at least we have our dreams, right?"  
"Promise" Rachel replied, smiling as she sighed sadly and leaned forward, her eyes closed. Quinn's breath caught in her throat before she gently pressed her lips to Rachel's, pouring all of her love into the kiss; she had missed this so dearly.  
_

_But all too soon the feeling of Rachel's lips was becoming distant, and Quinn tried to hold on to it as long as she could.  
"Rachel, please stay, I don't want you to go!" She pleaded, keeping her eyes tightly closed, praying to any God out there that this was not a dream and she would wake up beside Rachel._

"Quinn…Quinn? Wake up." She heard Rachel's voice drift through the darkness, and elated, she threw her eyes open only to see her fiancé looking down on her. The feminine voice slowly became more and more masculine as she tried to mask her heartache and disappointment, putting on a fake smile.  
"I-I…was having a horrible nightmare." She lied, rolling her eyes in mock embarrassment and trying to offer her fiancée a convincing smile, before turning over and burying her face against her pillow, which absorbed her tears.

_Only a day to go; and she would be reunited with her true love once again…_


	2. Why does distance make us wise?

**Chapter two.**  
_-Why does distance make us wise?-_

Jolting in her bed, Quinns eyes shot open as she looked around the room that was lit by the steadily rising sun through the blinds. Breathing heavily, she placed a hand on her chest, trying to slow her racing heart. Her dream was fresh in her mind, and she turned to the still sleeping form beside her, wanting to tell the brunette all about it. She knew they would laugh it off and she could almost hear her love call her silly and tap her nose lovingly, before quietening her with a gentle, loving kiss.

Turning quickly, she moved the covers down slightly, her hands stalling at the sight of ash blonde, short hair where there should have been long, loosely curled brunette hair. Frowning a little, she pulled the covers down further, seeing muscled, broad shoulders leading to a flat chest.  
Quinn pursed her lips, her brow furrowing before realisation hit her and she visibly deflated, sinking back against the pillow.

"It was all just a dream." She mused to herself, her voice waking the sleeping male beside her.  
"Quinn honey, did you say something?" he sleepily questioned, raising a hand to rub at his drowsy eyes.  
"No, just thinking." She replied, forcing a somewhat loving smile and turning to face her fiancé. "Sorry for waking you Jeremy." She apologised, looking over his shoulder to the clock on the nightstand.  
8:34am.

Sitting up, Quinn threw the covers off her legs and stretched her limbs out. "Want some breakfast?" she asked, getting up and smoothing out the sheets behind her.  
"How about we go out for breakfast this morning? It's the weekend, I think we can let my future wife a rest." Jeremy chuckled, placing emphasis on 'future wife'.  
Quinn faked a chuckle, her smile looking more of a grimace than anything as she nodded and started to get ready.

* * *

After breakfast, Quinn suggested they take a walk through the city park.

Jeremy thought it was romantic, Quinn thought it was un-romantically lacking a petite brunette.

As they walked, he kept reaching to hold her hand, but she found every excuse to not hold hands. His large hands were too different, not soft enough. They distracted her from the soft, smooth, feminine hands of the girl that used to trace little patterns with her fingertips late at night.

He walked with heavy, deliberate footsteps, instead of the quick, light taps that danced their way across her mind constantly.  
She noted how his lips were chapped and not sweetened by cherry lip gloss. How his slight stubble that scratched against her face, and threatened to erase the memory of the soft, plump, sweet lips that whispered sweet nothings against the shell of her ear in the morning to wake her.  
His skin was perfect, not a blemish in sight. His arms were warm and embracing. His voice was comforting.  
Anyone would think she was insane for not feeling lucky, but how could you love something with all your heart if your heart has long since been with someone else and no longer belongs to you? How could she give him her attention when even she couldn't get a constant grip on her attention herself?

She almost felt like she was cheating, though the thought was absurd…you can't cheat with someone in a dream, could you?

After a few failed attempts, Jeremy settled for wrapping his arm around Quinn's shoulders, as she was too lost in her thoughts to shrug him away. His lips were pursed in thought; he knew something was bothering her, more so recently than ever before. But if she had no desire to tell him, he wouldn't push her.  
Staying in uncomfortable silence, he started to lead her over to a bench by the pond, at which Quinn quickly snapped out of her thoughts.

"N-no, let's go have a look at the shops!" She spat out quickly, swallowing hard at her stuttered, desperate speech. Jeremy looked down at the blonde, raising an eyebrow with a slightly open mouth.  
"Okay." He drew out, tilting his head a little in confusion before shrugging.  
Quinn eyed the bench sadly, remembering the one in her dream and sighing wistfully.

_"Quinn…"_  
The slight wind gently brushed her cheeks, carrying a whisper.  
Quinn turned her head quickly. Furrowing her brow she twisted her head this way and that, trying to catch a glimpse of the voice, but the owner remained in mind but out of sight.  
"Sweetheart…?" Jeremy questioned softly, turning to look around the park and frowning.  
Quinn sighed, defeated as she turned back and carried on walking; her head down as she tried to hide the angry tears.

How long could she let this go on before she breaks?

* * *

That afternoon whilst Quinn ate dinner, she had her fingers crossed under the table.  
That evening as they both settled down to watch some of their late night television, Quinn closed her eyes and wished to see her again through the advert breaks.  
Later that night as she took a shower, she washed her hair with Rachel's favourite shampoo.  
As she got into bed, she lay on the side she used to sleep on when she stayed at the brunettes' house in college.  
And that night as she closed her eyes, she danced in their memories together hoping that when she reached the door of the glee club; she'd be on the other side.

* * *

_Quinn sat still for a moment, still willing her love to be there when she opened her eyes.  
She wished her to be happy, just like she remembered. She wished her to still be extremely enthusiastic, which she had taken for granted.  
More so, she wished she was still in love with her._

_After a moment, Quinn nervously opened her eyes, taking in her surroundings. She was in a restroom? Looking confused, she looked around, noting the tiles, the doors, and the sink she was resting against._  
_Why was she here?_  
_She let out a breath she hadn't known she was holding. So maybe it was too good to be true, maybe she wouldn't get to see her love in her dream again. She kicked herself internally for not making the most of the last dream, for not asking more questions…the most important was 'where are you now?'_

_The door slammed open, startling her from her thoughts as a teenage girl stormed into the restroom and leaned against the sink. Quinn jumped, before tilting her head a little seeing the tears that began to quickly fall down the petite teens olive cheeks.  
"Are you okay honey?"  
Quinn quickly asked, not even sure why the girl was crying, all she knew was she had this urge to soothe her.  
But the girl didn't even acknowledge Quinns presence, let alone answer her.  
Taken aback by the girl's ignorance, she tried again, reaching out a hand to rest on the girls shaking shoulders.  
"Sweetheart, it's okay." She cooed, only to be ignored once again._

_Starting to get slightly irritated by the constant ignorance, she tapped the girl's arm, before she froze._  
_The girl wasn't ignoring her, she was completely unaware of her presence; as if Quinn wasn't stood next to her._  
_Her arm dropped from its position against the girls arm, falling limp to her side as she leaned to get a better look at the girls face._  
_Gasping, her eyes widened in shock, taking in the chocolate brown, large eyes...the olive cheeks…the long brown hair kept in place with the cherry red headband…then to the sweater with the horse on it…to the schoolgirl skirt and the knee high socks._  
_It can't be…_

_She's looking at high school Rachel!_  
_And it breaks her heart seeing her cry and not being able to comfort her, to take away her tears._  
_She ponders what has made her cry like this, before the restroom door opens again, although this time it's quieter, a shy voice calling in._  
_"Rachel?" Her eyes widen as she hears the voice, looking to the door and there she sees her teenage self is walking in._

_Breathing out she purses her lips.  
This is not what she was expecting when she closed her eyes that night.  
She watches as teenage Quinn slowly walks over to Rachel, almost like a rabbit walking to a wolf. She's nervous, and it's very strange to see._

_"Are you okay, Rachel?"_  
_Teenage Quinn asks, mirroring her adult self only moments ago but more reserved. She watches as the young version of herself rests a hand on Rachel's shoulder, but this only seems to increase Rachel's sobs._  
_"Rachel, you're scaring me…" Teen Quinn admits, gulping as Rachel turns to lean against the sink and face her._  
_"Finn asked me to marry him." Rachel chokes out, still looking at her shoes._  
_Quinn lets out a breath almost as if someone had punched her in the stomach, her eyes turning glassy for a moment before she regained her composure._  
_"T-that's great!" she replied with false enthusiasm._

_Rachel then looked up, frowning slightly as she looked at Quinn._  
_"Don't lie to me, Quinn." She replied, grimacing._  
_Quinn sighed, shrugging._  
_"Don't marry him, Rachel." She said defiantly, standing firm as Rachel tilted her head, silently telling her to continue._

_"Rachel, you're 17. Why would you want to marry him now? Why would you want to marry him at all is beyond me! You're destined to go to New York, to sell out shows on Broadway and to become a star like you always have been._  
_If you marry him, he'll drag you down. And I'm not about to sit around and let you ruin your life." Quinn spoke firmly, crossing her arms._

_There was a stunned silence from the petite brunette, but it was in no means uncomfortable. In fact, it was more of a warm silence._

_Present Quinn could almost feel the chemistry with her hands, and that's when it happened.  
Teenage Quinn reached her hand out to softly trace Rachel's cheek, before she leaned in and pressed her lips against Rachel's._

_As Quinn watched their first kiss, she felt someone beside her.  
Turning her head away from her younger self, she gasped, seeing present Rachel stood admiring the two teens.  
"Beautiful. Our first kiss." She mused, smiling softly. "I'm glad you have the courage to finally kiss me." She chuckled, turning to look at the stunned blonde.  
"You're here." Was all that managed to leave Quinn's dry mouth as she rushed to lick her lips.  
Rachel chuckled, nodding.  
"I'm here, technically speaking." She replied.  
"Why are you here and where are you in reality? Why are we here?" Quinn quickly rushed out, desperate to get some answers this time.  
Rachel smiled sadly._

_"I'm here because I'm here…"She gently placed her hand over Quinn's heart, "And in reality… I'm longing." She said, looking down.  
"And we're here because you want us to be here. We're here because fate wants us to be together, but it's not time yet."  
Quinn tilts her head in confusion, urging her to continue.  
"We have to figure out what went wrong, before we can move onto the future. And that starts with how we started."_

_Quinn furrowed her eyebrows, before a choked sob escaped her mouth._  
_"I miss you." She whispered, her eyes filling with tears as the edges of her vision started to become unclear._  
_"I miss you more than you could ever know." Rachel replied, looking sad and sounding slightly distant._

_"Wait, no! No I'm not finished yet! I have so much more to ask!" Quinn cried out as everything started to fade, she was clawing onto sleep as long as she could. But it was to no avail, as her vision faded to black before she felt a gently nudge to her shoulder._

* * *

Opening her eyes sleepily, she tilted her head to the side to see Jeremy smiling down lovingly at her.  
"Good morning, my love." He said cheerfully, before getting up to get dressed.

"Is it?"  
Quinn muttered, closing her eyes as a tear rolled down her cheek.


	3. I won't give up

_**I won't give up.**_

"Britt! The damn cat has been eating my bra again!"

Quinn chuckled as the fiery Latinas voice rang through the house, closely followed by the brunette herself stood at the door, arms crossed and foot tapping angrily. The ruined garment in question was hanging from her fingertips.

"He just loves you, that's all babe." Brittany replied, shrugging as she sipped at her drink.  
"You love me too, but _you_ don't eat my underwear!" Santana huffed, storming to the kitchen and throwing the chewed up item of clothing in the trash.  
"Say nothing and live Fab-halfgay." She muttered, cutting Quinn off as she opened her mouth, punching the bridge of her nose between her fingers and joining Brittany on the couch.

Quinn chuckled.  
She was secretly jealous of the girls relationship, not that she'd tell anyone outside of closed doors. It was impossible not to be, they had been dating for years, married for 5 and maintaining a healthy relationship with a beautiful house. That's why coming here was such an escape, it was back to just them…the unholy trinity. It was just like high school again.

"So how's life, Quinn?" Brittany asked, smiling whilst tracing patterns on the back of Santana's hand with her thumb. "Set a date for the wedding yet?" She asked grinning excitedly.  
Santana chewed her lip, her eyes downcast as she listened. She was the only one who knew of Quinns dreams of Rachel and the turmoil that they had brought the blonde.  
Quinns eyes were glued to a spot on the table as she absently played with her fingers and shrugged a little.  
"Not yet…but what's the rush, right?" She nervously chucked, faking a smile. Santana eyed her curiously, before smiling, "Speaking of weddings, you would not believe the email I got the other day!" She said quickly, trying to change the subject.

Brittany turned to look at her excitedly, her lips parted and eyebrows rained slightly in anticipation. "What?" She asked quickly, bouncing a little in excitement.  
Quinn breathed out, relieved that the focus had been taken off of her for the time being.

"Sam! Turned out he married a cute little southern girl on the down-low a month or two ago!" Santana explained, chuckling whilst Brittany clapped happily and grinned. "Aw that's so cute!" She exclaimed. During her repeat of senior year, Sam and she had gotten quite close because of their struggles. He took her under his wing and treated her like his sister and the sentiment had carried on throughout their lives. The two were still very close.

"Aw, go Sam!" Quinn replied, smiling genuinely. Ever since dating him, she held a soft spot for him in her heart.  
"Yeah, it was only a small wedding, family only. But he sent me pictures, she's a real cutie, they look good together." Santana said, unlocking her cell and flicking through her emails, before leaning over to pass the cell to Quinn who cooed excitedly.  
"Oh my gosh, look at them! And look how grown up Sam looks!" she squeals, smiling happily for them and passing the cell back to Santana.

A loud crash broke through the house as all three girls furrowed their eyebrows towards the sound, each as confused as each other. "What was-" Quinn started, before raising her hand to her mouth and giggling as a little kitten came trotting into the living area looking proud, despite having a pair of Santana's underwear draped across his head.  
"Oh my…" She chuckled.

"That damn cat!" Santana shrieked, reaching out to grab at the fast kitten, only to scare it away.  
"Tana!" Brittany pouted, quickly jumping up to rush up the stairs after the frightened feline.  
"Why did we pick that damn panty ruining cat out of all the other kittens?!" Santana huffed, shaking her head, before leaning to look round the corner and make sure Britt was upstairs, then moving over to sit next to Quinn.

"So, have you had any more dreams…you know, of her?"  
Santana asks tentatively, looking into Quinns eyes to get the truth.  
Quinn bites her lip, looking up and finding Santana's eyes full of care and love for her that a stray tear runs down her cheek.  
"All the time." She whispers, her voice breaking.  
"Whenever I close my eyes to nap, I see her. Whenever I sleep, she's there, waiting for me with that huge, sparkling smile of hers... I can't escape her, I don't want to but I feel bad for Jeremy." Quinn says, honestly, as she puts her head in her hands and sighs.

Santana nods gently, rubbing her hand up and down her friends back, trying to soothe her. "What are you going to do?"

"What can I do?" Quinn replies bitterly. "I can't break it off with Jeremy because I'm having some dreams of my love. But what if this is a sign? What if Rachel really is out there waiting for me, and dreaming of me? What if I'm supposed to find her?"  
Santana sighs softly, her lips twisting to the side in a thoughtful pout.  
"I just…I just need to wait and think about it for a while." Quinn mutters standing and grabbing her coat from the side.

"Where are you going Quinnie?" Brittany asks quietly, making both girls jump and turn to see a subdued Britt, her head tilted down slightly as she picks at the doorframe.  
"I…I forget to get something from the store…I have to l-leave." Quinn stutters, scrambling to make an excuse but failing miserably.  
Brittany twisted her lips into a thoughtful, sad pout as she silently made her way over to the smaller blonde and wraps her arms around her, nuzzling her nose into her short hair and rubbing her back gently.  
"If you wait until you're ready, you'll be waiting for the rest of your life." She whispers into the short blonde locks.  
Quinn remained silent, thinking over her friends words and clinging to her like life support.  
"I think you're right… I think you're right." She whispers.

* * *

Quinn remained thoughtful throughout the whole subway journey home, her lips pursed as she went over every detail in her head. She remembered every single detail about every dream that she had dreamt recently, every single detail on dream Rachel's face and every single aspect of her being as she moved gracefully, almost dancing along beside her. The way she glowed, somewhat. Like she was an angel, floated down to grace her with her presence and how she had this aura around her that had come down and surrounded Quinn, lighting her world and brightening even the darkest of corners. Suddenly everything was bright, she could see like she had been half blind since the day they parted.

"_Brooklyn stop."_  
The announcer rang over the speakers, breaking Quinn out of her thoughts as she grabbed her bag and made her way through the crowded carriage to the doors.  
Stepping down, a slight gust hit her and pushed her hat off of her head, landing on the carriage floor just behind her.  
"Oh dear!" She shrieked turning and bending to pick it up, pale fingers meeting tanned as she furrowed her brows in question.  
She stopped, looking up at the other person and her mouth dropped open.

"…R-Rachel?" She questioned her voice just above a whisper as she tried to think if she was in another dream, or if she was imagining it.  
In front of her was definitely the brunette stood in all of her glory.  
As Rachel stood up straight with Quinn's hat clutched to her chest, Quinn took in every detail.

She looked exactly the way Quinn remembered her, long brunette locks, deep mocha eyes and soft tanned skin. Although she looked somewhat saddened at the sight of Quinn in front of her.  
Suddenly the beeping signal of the doors closing rang out and Quinn looked around in alarm. "No! No you can't! Rachel!" She cried out, frantic as the doors in front of her closed and the carriage began to move out of the station.  
Quinn let out a choked sob, her hands in her hair in anguish.

She had her!  
She was right in front of her and in the blink of an eye she was gone and she hadn't even had a chance to speak to her properly.  
Quinn remained there, her face frozen in horror as she stared at the spot where her love was just seconds ago. Her mouth was still slightly open, filled with words she wanted to say but now she didn't know if she'd ever get the chance to.  
She was frozen in place, her mind swimming with questions that she was unsure if they would ever be answered.

"Excuse me ma'am, are you okay?"  
She was shaken out of her thoughts by a man gently tapping her arm to bring her back to the real world.  
She furrowed her eyebrows, turning to look at him with a look of confusion etched on her face.  
"I..uh.." she spoke brokenly, swallowing as she tried to come to terms with what had just happened.  
"Miss?" The man questioned, worried for the shocked blonde in front of him.  
Quinn shook her head, trying to rid her brain of the fog that had seemed to take over it in the last few minutes, trying to muster a reassuring smile as she nods.  
"Yeah, sorry! I'm a scatter brain." She tried to joke, her voice lacking energy so much that she wouldn't even convince a child. The man still looked worried, but as the next train pulled up he looked over his shoulder and turned back.  
"This is my train, I gotta go… Are you gonna be okay?" He questions thoughtfully.  
"I'll be fine, thank you though." She nods as she smiles gratefully and turns to make her way home.

Taking out her cell, she quickly unlocks it and hits speed dial 2, her breaths coming out harsher as the call tone rang through before it was answered.

"Santana? Santana I-I saw her."  
She whispers into her cell, leaning against a wall.  
She slides down the wall, choking on a sob.

"She's here."


	4. Myth

**Chapter three**  
_-Myth.-_

"What is she doing _here_?"

Quinn's voice cried out brokenly as she leaned against Santana in the taxi that was driving through a quiet neighbourhood. Her chest heaved as she sobbed into the Latinas shoulder and clutched at her jacket sleeve. Santana cooed gently, rubbing her arm and trying her best to comfort her best friend.

But inside her mind, thoughts were flying everywhere.  
Quinn had a point; why was Rachel here?  
What kind of twisted fate is it that Quinn would be on the same subway as her and she hadn't noticed until it was too late? What kind of world let their paths cross so closely and right at the last second, rip one of them to who knows where? What kind of fate caused such pain that her best friend was now experiencing.  
Would she ever see Rachel again? Had she or Britt ever travelled on the same tube as her and just not realised? Santana was burning with curiosity and she needed answers.

Quinn gulped, nuzzling her face into Santana's jacket and letting out a shuddering sigh. She had so much going on in her mind that she could no longer distinguish any of the thoughts. Each one ran into each other and then started a tangent of more thoughts, each hurting her brain more than the last.

Was Rachel living here? Or was she just visiting? And the place she daren't go; was she visiting _someone_.  
What if any of the people around her had been with Rachel? Did one of them get to leave the subway holding her soft, delicate hand, or with their arm wrapped around her shoulders? Did she go home and have someone waiting with her supper? Did she laugh her tinkling laugh whilst curled against someone on a couch watching her favourite show? At night was she laid with her head resting on someone's chest, her fingers tracing patterns against their stomach like she used to do to Quinn? Did they whisper sweet nothings to each other?  
And in the morning, did she ever wake with thoughts of the blonde?  
She shook her head a little, she had no room to talk, she was engaged for gods sake.

Speaking of her fiancé, she jumped when her cell started to ring.  
"Want me to get it?" Santana asked quickly, wanting to keep her friend calm and composed as she could.  
Quinn shook her head, knowing if Santana answered, Jeremy would question things, so she quickly unlocked her phone and put on a fake smile.

"Hey honey…yeah, I got sidetracked with the girls talking…yeah I'm coming home soon… okay, see you later. Yeah, you too."

Santana sighed, rubbing the blondes arm comfortingly as the taxi pulled up outside Santana and Britts house.  
Santana quickly paid the cab driver as Quinn started to make her way into the house, falling into Brittany's arms once she was through the door.

"Shh, shh…Tell me all about it."  
Brittany soothed, rubbing the shorter blondes back.

* * *

"I- I was waiting at the doors, it was my s-stop…and I stepped onto the platform the s-stupid wind came out of no-where and my hat fell into the train."

Quinn breathed, taking a long sip of the hot chocolate Brittany had made for her for when she got in. She remembered when Brittany and Santana were having their fall outs, first when Britt stayed with Artie and Santana came crying to her, Quinn had made the hot chocolate. When Brittany came crying to her shortly after Santana had left because she was so conflicted, Quinn had made the hot chocolate.  
And then when Santana broke up with Brittany, and Quinn would yet again be there for both of them with a cup of her infamous hot chocolate, with cream and frosting on top. The girls had frequently come to her house at all times _just _for one of her hot chocolates. Literally, all times of the night as well.  
Eventually Quinn just wrote down and gave them the recipe just to get some peace.  
But now it was Brittany who had made the soothing hot chocolate, shaping the frosting into a smiley face, typical Britt.

"So I turned around to get it, I l-love that hat! You know why…" she trailed off, swallowing down another sob as the girls nodded thoughtfully. "And some other person reached for it! And I'm thinking 'Let go, this is _my_hat!' Like someone was just going to take it from in f-front of me!" Quinn rambled.

"And then I look up and there she was! Just stood there, glowing and looking like an angel." Quinn's voice broke as she had another sip and Brittany half smiled, encouraging her to go on.  
"She stood up, holding my hat to her chest as she looked at me like I was some sort of mythical creature. Her beautiful eyes all big and shining just like they used to, as she looked straight into my s-soul." Quinn hiccupped, shaking her head slightly.  
"And I was just about to question her, find out where she's living…why she's here…who she's with, and the doors closed!" The blonde shrieked, as Brittany gasped, her face completely saddened for her sobbing friend.

"Oh Quinn…" She whispered, not quite sure what to say.

Santana, who had been chewing her lip and staring straight down as she listened, looked up, her face slightly puzzled.

"Didn't she move because she got that part in that show in London halfway through her second year?"  
She queried, her eyebrows furrowing together as she remembered that day well.

Quinn shrugged, wiping at her cheeks trying to remove the evidence of the tears.  
"I saw her San! It was her! I didn't imagine it!" She cried out, rubbing at her bloodshot eyes.  
Santana quickly rubbed her back, whilst Brittany reached over to grab a moist towelette from her bag on the coffee table. She gently moved Quinns cheek so she was facing her, and she gently wiped at Quinns face and eyes, trying to sooth the puffiness around them from the tears.  
"We know Quinn, we know… but New York is a huge place, and honestly? The odds of you two meeting again are a work of fate. But you have two choices, you can go on with your life and forget about her…" Quinn gulped, she knew how impossible that was, she had been trying for years. "or, you can try and find her. There's so many ways, the phone book, facebook, hell, even ask some old friends around and see if they know her number. And if you choose that, you go after your girl Quinn."

Brittany smiled softly as she glanced to Santana, who had reached out to hold Quinn's hand, "Believe me, love is so worth it." Brittany finished softly, smiling adoringly at Santana.

Quinn nodded in thought as she chewed her lip a little.  
"I think I have to sleep on it. It's already late and Jeremy will be worried sick if I stay out any later." She said, standing up and sighing as she tried to compose herself.  
"Thanks girls." She said gratefully, hugging them both as she made her way outside once again, this time hailing a cab.

And as she sat in the back and looked out of the window, where the rain was falling down although the sun was threatening to break through, she couldn't help but think how perfect for her mood the weather was.


	5. In the arms you said you'd never leave

_**AUTHORS NOTE;  
Hey! I haven't had chance to say this yet, so thank you!  
I'm so, so grateful that people are somewhat interested in this story, and thank you so much for the reviews! This chapter is a flashback, so it's all around the first year of college, and I'm hoping it will give you some more insight into the background of the story. (:  
So, with that said and done- thank you once again, and enjoy!  
And pretty please if you have time, leave a review? It really helps. (: **_

_**Chapter Five**__:_

_If you were here beside me instead of in New York__  
__In the arms you said you'd never leave…_

**Flashback;**_  
_

"_Hey sweetie, it's me. Listen I gotta stay late for rehearsal tonight. They're really kicking our asses here and t__he choreographer keeps making us re-do the whole number if just one of us is a fraction over the mark and it's just __ludicrous__ really. I love you, and I'll see you soon hopefully."_

_In the background a strict male voice could be heard shouting insults about the crew's performance and Quinn must admit, it was eerily reminiscent of a male Sue Sylvester. The message finished and the beep sounded.__  
"End of messages." The monotone female voice signalled and Quinn slid her cell closed as she looked down sadly upon the table. _

_She'd skipped her afternoon class so that she could come home and prepare an extravagant meal for her loved brunette. The meal was Rachel's favourite in the world. The one that she often admitted that she could eat for hours upon end and never get sick of it. Beside it was the wine glass filled to the top with the expensive wine. And as a student, it was a stretch to buy but she wanted to go all out on the romance for the petite songstress. _

_She was still for a while, just watching the flicker of the candles reflecting on her empty wine glass. She was on her third glass of wine now, going through the motions of drinking it and then pouring another glass and sipping at it again as she was lost in her thoughts and sadness._

_Today was their third year anniversary. Three and a half years since Quinn stopped being an idiot and admitted to herself, with the help of Brittany and Santana, that she liked girls…well, she liked Rachel. Three years since Quinn invited Rachel to Breadstix to 'study', where she had bought the brunettes favourite meal and it was there that Quinn came clean and told her everything. About how she would sit at the back of the classes they shared together simply to watch the elegant brunette. How she would stand just outside the choir room when Rachel was practising her singing for Glee that week, and how she'd swoon every time she heard the heavenly voice streaming from the petite girl. She admitted that she was the one who had done the drawings on the girls' bathroom wall of Rachel, and she had blushed profusely whilst telling her this. She told her about how all the insults were stupid, lame attempts at hiding her feelings. How she wished she could take everything back, and how she wished that she had just told her the feelings she held for her on the first day they met. How she was sure that her eyes were betraying her the whole time._

_Rachel had blushed throughout the whole admittance, biting her lip a little and trying to hide her huge grin that was threatening to break out on her face at any second, before admitting that she returned the feelings for Quinn._

_Picking at her skirt, Quinn sighed heavily. It was a complete change. 3 years ago she was sat laughing and sharing stories with Rachel, holding hands across the table…now she was sat alone with cold food and an even colder feeling in her heart. It was the fourth time that week that Rachel had cancelled plans and had to come home late. She knew that she had the show but sometimes Rachel just stayed late without even sending her a message or calling her and then she would home to the dark bedroom in the early hours of the morning, climbing into bed to Quinn who was faking sleep being just to avoid explaining the tear marks and puffy eyes._

_She sadly leaned across the table and blew the candle out, sighing heavily as she stood with the two full plates of ice cold food and took them to the counter. She was sick and tired of being the best she could be to an empty audience. What was the use in spending so much time trying to impress someone who was absent most of the time?_

_As she scraped the food into the trash she chewed at her lip and glanced at the clock on the side. It was now 7pm…4 hours later than when Rachel said she would be home for._

_Frowning, Quinn put the plates on the side with a slam and turned, grabbing her coat and bag and locking the door on the way out. If Rachel could stay out late, why couldn't she?  
As she walked down the street she exhaled and tried to calm herself. She was just so angry. She knew this amount of time at college would help Rachel get the training she needed in the thing she adored most, but Quinn felt like she had been pushed aside by Rachel's need to excel and impress her teachers. Towards the beginning of the year Rachel and she would often meet at lunch to grab a coffee together and talk. It felt like years when they were apart from each other at class, even if it was only a few hours. Now it was rare that Quinn would even get a reply when she mentioned grabbing something to eat at lunch. Quinn was feeling less and less like Rachel's girlfriend and more like her room-mate. _

_The blonde turned the corner and looked up at the sound of jazzy music and was met with a buzzing neon sign; 'Choice notes'.  
She tilted her head, not recognising the bar, and strangely she'd rarely felt the need to go to a bar on a college night, but something in her just told her to be reckless and live a little. So she did._

_When she entered she was immediately greeted by many stares from the males inside the room, as she swiftly made her way to the bar with her head down, hopping onto a stool and grabbing a menu._

_The bartender made his way over, chuckling and smiling at the beautiful blonde. "What would you like, ma'am?" He asked, breaking Quinn out of her thoughts as she twisted her lips to the side slightly in thought as she browsed the menu.  
After a few seconds she placed the menu down on the bar and smiled politely.  
"Surprise me."_

_After the bartender had placed her drink in front of her, she smiled gratefully, passing him some cash and thanking her lucky stars that he didn't ask her for I.D.  
She took a sip and smiled softly; the taste wasn't too strong and was slightly fruity.  
Trying to remain unnoticed, she kept her head down and took out her cell, unlocking it to see no new messages or missed calls and she clenched her jaw and placed the cell down angrily, taking a sip and tapping her fingers on the glass._

_Next to her, an older man chuckled, his voice raspy, as he raised his eyebrows.  
"Waiting on your boyfriend?" He asked, smirking.  
Quinn looked up, startled that someone was speaking to her. She shook her head, shrugging.  
"Girlfriend." She muttered, looking down and unlocking her cell again.  
The man frowned a little, looking confused.  
"Don't spend your night waiting on your friends, get yourself out there and speak to a man, live a little." He spoke with a voice that was an indication of many years of smoking cigars.  
Quinn looked at him for the first time, her face puzzled before recognition broke out on it and she laughed lightly, shaking her head.  
"Oh! No I mean my girlfriend, girlfriend." She explained, smiling softly.  
The man frowned and looked away from her, shaking his head as he took a long gulp out of the beer bottle in his large, rough hands.  
"Kids these days… you're all about experimenting and breaking the rules of God." He muttered, shaking his head and looking somewhat disgusted._

_Quinn frowned, raising a perfect eyebrow as she finished her drink in one sip and stood up.  
"I'll have you know that I love my girlfriend very much, and I have done since high school. We live together, and I respect her and care for her."  
She started to leave, before turning around and looking at him smugly.  
"And also, God never said anything about gay people- fact. Learn what you preach."  
She said with a proud smile, turning and leaving the bar._

"_Well, so much for that experience." She muttered under her breath, pulling her coat around her as she continued walking down the dark streets. She mentally made a note to not go back to that bar again._

_A few blocks later she found herself stood outside of a Starbucks coffee shop, and she looked in thoughtfully. It did look warm and comforting in there, and there were no drunken old men, so she pushed on the door and made her way to stand behind the tall blonde male in the queue. She zoned out as he ordered his drink, taking her cell out of her pocket, sliding it unlocked and sighing heavily at the sight of no new messages yet. It was going on to 9pm, surely the teacher would let them go soon?_

_She moved forward and placed her order, before moving towards the collection point for the drinks. Looking down at her cell again, she unlocked it and quickly typed out a text, asking when Rachel would be leaving so she could meet her at the station. She smiled, thinking to herself that even if the meal was forgotten and failed, that she could walk with Rachel through the beautiful park near their apartment block and she could tell her she still loved her. Quinn's mind sprung into thought mode and she started planning everything, even thinking of which flowers to greet her girlfriend with. 'Rachel had been working hard and late recently, maybe it was all out of her control. I'm sure she's not drifting on purpose...' Quinn started thinking, trying to rationalise with herself._

_Her cell broke her from her thoughts as she slid it open and read the text with excitement; 'Sorry, I said I'd grab a coffee with Brad after class. xx'  
Her heart sank as she read and re-read the text. Had Rachel completely forgotten what day it was?_

"_Hazelnut hot chocolate with cream"  
The workers voice called out, and Quinn reached out to grab the hot chocolate, only for her fingertips to meet another's and she frowned. Looking at the large hand she followed the muscled arm up to a toned body and then to a handsome blonde male who chuckled.  
"Whoops, sorry!" He quickly apologised, smiling charmingly.  
"You can take it, I'll wait for the next one." He said smiling at the shorter blonde._

_Quinn shook her head, smiling softly._  
_"I can't do that! You were in front of me. Here" She said, pushing the steaming cup towards him._  
_He grinned, shaking his head._  
_"No, it's fine. You look like you need a pick-me-up so you take it." He replied, a somewhat concerned look behind his ocean blue eyes._  
_Quinn gulped, nodding in thought as she looked down._  
_"Tell me about it." She muttered quietly, sighing heavily._  
_He frowned, tilting his head a little._  
_"I know we just met… and you just stole my drink, but you really look like you could use an ear to talk to right now…Do you wanna talk about it?" He asked carefully, looking down at her with comfort radiating from him._

_The shorter blonde thought for a moment, before nodding gently._  
_On one hand this man was a complete stranger that she had never met before. Yet on another hand she really could use someone to talk to at the moment, she was going crazy inside her head._  
_She nodded, smiling softly and gratefully._  
_"That…That would be wonderful."_

_"Jeremy." He replied, holding his hand out and smiling warmly._  
_"Quinn." She said, shaking his hand and smiling in return._

* * *

"_Brave!"_

_Jeremy teased lightly, chuckling as he raised his eyebrows and took a sip of his hot chocolate.  
"Shut up!" I just don't go to bars much, I was upset and it was the first place I came upon." Quinn giggled, shaking her head at him. She was amazed at how easy their conversation was flowing; it was almost like she had known him a lot longer than 20 minutes. She felt comfortable. Her worries and bad thoughts seemed to have confined themselves to a corner of her mind and she was content for them to stay that way._

"_So, was your first bar what you expected it to be?" Jeremy asked, raising an eyebrow in question.  
"No!" Quinn groaned, chuckling as she put her face into her hands.  
"Spill!" Jeremy grinned.  
"Some old man decided to pick on me. It was horrible; I just walked out after one drink." She explained, rolling her eyes.  
"What? Why did he pick on you?" Jeremy asked, tilting his head slightly and looking puzzled._

_Quinn paused, chewing on her lip as she looked up at Jeremy.  
"Uh…he didn't like my drink choice."  
She said after a moment, shaking her head slightly._

"_Man, I had a great time talking to you Quinn."  
Jeremy smiled as he shrugged and stood up, looking over at the smaller blonde as she gathered her coat and purse.  
"Me too… we should hang out again sometime." She replied, smiling fondly. It felt nice to have a friend.  
"Definitely! What's your number?" Jeremy asked, smiling as he tapped her number into his phone and shrugging. "I'll message you when I'm free and we can grab a drink again… well, you can grab my drink again." He laughed lightly and Quinn giggled, shaking her head.  
"I didn't steal it! I was in my own little world." She excused herself, walking outside with him and checking her cell. 'When did it turn 10.30?' She thought to herself, her eyes widening. _

"_Sure…" Jeremy winked playfully, turning to leave and waving.  
"See you around, Alice." He smiled, as the short blonde frowned a little.  
"Alice?" She called out in confusion as he chuckled.  
"Yeah, like Alice in Wonderland. You're in your own little world." He grinned, shrugging and continuing to walk down the street as she chuckled to herself and made her own way back to the apartment._

* * *

_As Quinn entered the dark apartment, she shrugged her coat __off and hung it on the hook, locking the door behind her before making her way to the bedroom._

_"Rachel?" She called gently, looking into the living area before making her way to the bedroom and seeing a sleeping form laid under the sheets in the dark. __She smiled fondly, getting changed and ready for bed before slipping in beside the petite brunette and laying her arm over her slim waist, cuddling up to her and sighing fondly._

_"mm hey Quinn" Rachel questioned, her speech slurred with sleep.  
"Where were you?" She asked her voice slightly curious._

_Quinn bit her lip and nuzzled into Rachel's hair._  
_"Just got caught up with a friend, that's all."_


End file.
